Well, I started talking to everybody again. Because I ran entirely out of people I WASN'T annoyed with. Resolved some things with some people, as much as they can be resolved. Spent yesterday trying to do nice things for people. Had a good day.
Today people are still fighting. People's secrets are still gnawing on my brain. The list of chores never ends. I keep not eating because I feel I need to get doing chores right away... Today's breakfast is cocoa and grapes. Skipped the parenting class because I don't feel like totally crushing whatever self esteem I have at the moment. Wishing people would stop hurting.
The weather is changing to autumn. I want to spend as much time outside as I can before it gets cold. I'm getting along really well with the moms in the back yard. Kyle's old enough to start preschool, but since we can't afford preschool, I need to do that from home instead.
School starts Monday. David will be doing full time work and full time school. I miss him already. A lot. We need more money than we have. All our resources are wiped out. Savings, both sets of parents... Between cancer and school, there's nothing left for our finances. And there's still more cancer bills to pay, and more tuition, and our normal bills... and Christmas. And yearly pictures. Maybe I can make stuff for people instead of buying stuff. But the kids need new clothes.
Whimper. Sigh. Trudge along.
"When all you gotta keep is strong, move along move along like I know you do. And even when your hope is gone, move along move along just to make it through. Move along."