In the last two weeks I've been eating healthier foods and exercising regularly, and I think it's affecting my temperament. Situations that I know would have bothered me previously aren't as frustrating to me now. For example, a few days ago I took my three year old son to a friend's house who also has a three year old son. We were going to try our first day of a neighborhood preschool. Our children did not cooperate; they wanted to play with (and fight over and throw tantrums about) toys instead of listen to storytime or do crafts.
Previously I'd be so embarrassed by my son's behavior that I'd haul him home and put him in time-out or tell him he's been a bad boy and then feel like the worst parent in the world and spend the rest of the day wallowing in self-hate. I'm sure I'll have more days like that to come. But Thursday I was able to think clearly enough to understand that both boys were just having trouble sharing (as is age appropriate) and were tired and cranky. There wasn't fault to be passed around; their behavior was normal. So we took our kids back to our receptive houses and I gave my son a hug and I'm optimistic about this week's second try for preschool.
I still get cranky when I'm tired (usually at the end of the day). But I'm nowhere near as cranky or unreasonable as I used to be. I'm feeling better about myself because I'm being proactive in getting healthy (and, I must admit vanity, I'm happy about losing some extra weight). So I must work on doing a better bedtime routine instead of dreading the end of day. Maybe that will be my goal for this week: keep up healthy diet & exercise, add in bedtime routine.
My weekly therapy appointment is today. Will report in any new homework. Must also be more consistent with homework...