Friday, April 17, 2009

People are Irrational

I worry that people will cease to look at me and instead only see my bad eye. It's not really bothering me, just something that tickles my brain on occasion. I'm excited to get my prosthetic eye, so I'll have two green eyes again (and not have to worry about putting on an eye patch to open the door for visitors or go out). Also, I haven't had two green eyes in a long time. It's been one green and one brown... So I'm looking forward to getting my prosthetic.

I think people are over-pitying me. Yeah, I acknowledge that having cancer sucks, and losing an eye sucks, and part of me feels like my body is no longer whole. But it still works. I can still see. The rest of me is healthy. I can do everything I could do before I lost an eye. Quit thinking that I'm dying or that this is the end of the world!

People in church aren't going to leave me alone until I let them bring me a meal or babysit. "You must need help with kids now!" ...Like every other mother in the ward wouldn't like extra help, too? I tell them I'm fully functional, and they're not listening to me.

So to resolve that, I told them to bring me a meal and set up a rotating babysitting service in the ward. But that only appeases one group of people. I'm told there are other people who are still wringing their hands. Apparently my grandmother thinks I'll never recover. I think I'd like to kick her in the head. You know what "not recovering" looks like? It's my brother-in-law's best friend who went through a long ordeal with chemotherapy and surgery and almost died with colon cancer. He thought he was done. And then his screening came back with abnormalities on his innards again, so now they're telling him he's got to be on chemo for the rest of his life. THAT'S what not recovering looks like. Yes, I've lost an eye. I won't get it back in this life. But I can still SEE, and DO, and FUNCTION.

I suspect I'm going to bite somebody's head off the next time they call me "you poor thing" or something equally stupid. I had the best health care possible. I live in the best country possible. I have luxurious food, shelter, clothing, entertainment, education, family support, etc. Everyone's healthy. So SHUT UP about how "hard" you think my life is.

Today is the first day of sunlight after 3 days of rain and snow. I'm gonna go outside with my kids, and then clean my house.


Trish said...

Sorry I haven't been here to comment.
Like I told Heidi, sometimes coming from the kind of background that you and I have in common makes you unusually capable of handling the REALLY REALLY hard stuff quite well.
It's the daily annoyances that make us crazy. LOL
I'm glad you're home and feeling well.
Now go live.

Sexy Beast said...

dont worry I will mock you till the end of time :D