Friday, April 10, 2009


As I get to feeling better and resuming normal life, I seem to be getting crankier. I seem to be just furious with the universe. I lay in bed trying to sleep and my brain just started in on "I hate my life. I hate this apartment. Why don't we have a house yet?" Which is stupid because I LIKE THIS APARTMENT. It's the right size for us right now, it has great playgrounds for my kids, it's conveniently located by school, etc.

And my kids are driving me nuts. And I want my husband's full attention and am mad when he's not paying full attention to me every minute when he's got things he needs to be doing. And I seem to be mad at EVERYBODY for anything humanly possible... It's not rational.

I took a nap to see if that would help. Ate food. Still violently cranky.

Why am I so cranky?


Sexy Beast said...

ummm i have no idea..mabye its cause your having a major life change which is causing you stress, so every day stress is way to much to deal with and you get cranky???? want chocolate or soup in a can????

Heidi said...

This is a normal part of the grieving process. In addition to just having lost an eye--which is going to cause you to grieve--you've got on top of that financial stress, the strain of kids, a husband who's working full-time AND going to school full-time, your own personal ambitions being frustrated, the strain of living in a small apartment with two small children, and the loss of a significant member of your social network as your new friend and her son plan to move away.

OF COURSE you're angry right now. It's understandable. It's human. I give you lots of hugs and tons of faith and the fact that I believe in you wholeheartedly. Also, I'm logging onto AIM. (Sorry I was AWOL this weekend. I accidentally left my computer home when we went out of town.)