Today was going better than yesterday. I got back on the bandwagon, ate oatmeal for breakfast, came home ready to get stuff done.  Then I went to pick up kids from school. 

Yep, that's my kid in the principal's office, where he's been most of the day after punching four kids and then threatening to blow up the school.  Why?  Because someone was throwing a ball at him during a game during P.E. 

It's not like we haven't been over how to handle bullying situations a hundred times. It's not like he hasn't been in one on one counseling for a year and a half to learn to control his emotions / responses.  It's not like we haven't kept in constant communication with his teacher, giving set consequences for every day he doesn't behave appropriately in school.  It's not like we don't do everything we can to make sure he has a safe, loving home to make him feel secure and not need to lash out at other people. 

I don't understand what else I need to be doing.  Obviously I'm failing at something.  If I pull him out of school and put him in the online K12 program, I will have to quit my job and be the mean person who rides him to get his schoolwork done. I don't know if that will help him.  I know it will help everyone else who has to put up with his punching, fits, crying, disruptions... My child is terrible in school, and I feel like it's my fault. 

I feel like I'm failing at everything. That I've tried so hard, and it's all for naught.  That everything's hopeless.  I want to give up.  Why does everything always have to be so hard?