Struggling

My stress level has gone up. My coping skills are fraying. My self-esteem is shot. I'm struggling to function.

During my brief period last week when I thought cancer might kill me (it's not going to kill me), I looked at my life and realized I only had two big regrets: I haven't given enough love, attention, and guidance to my children, and I need to get my scrapbooks/journals in order so they can have an idea of my life. I realize that life isn't guaranteed, so even though cancer won't be the end of me at this point in time, I still need to get my butt in gear.

Monday I will call the local family center to get ideas on parenting help that isn't in the form of books, advice, or parenting classes. I need a person to physically come in my home and help.

Today I'm spending at my in-laws with my family, trying to get as many snuggles in with my kids and spouse as possible.