I dreamed about you last night.
I'm not sure how to feel about that. 
I miss you.
I shouldn't miss you.
You're a danger to me and mine,
but like an addict
I can't let you go. 

I miss being able to miss you
without feeling guilt
and self-hate.
You crossed a line,
and I can forgive you,
but I can never trust you again.
We can't even be friends.

This family got gutted,
and it's your fault.
Yours alone.
So why do I miss you?
Because ten years is a long time,
and sixteen years is longer,
and there's nothing to fill the void you left.

I miss you, you stupid shithead.  This annoys me to no end.